Ask The Good Enough Guy:
My Husband Is Procrastinating With
Our Moving Plans. Now What?
Hi Good Enough Guy:
My husband and I want to move back to our home state of Georgia from Chicago. We have family there and we want our children to be around them. I’m a teacher, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to find a job. However, my husband’s job is very specific and there wouldn’t be opportunities in his field. He would have to do a major career shift, maybe even go back to school. He’s been at his job for 20 years and he enjoys it, so I understand it’s hard to think about doing something else. We’ve been talking about moving for three years. By now he could have picked up a new skill! I feel like his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be. How can I encourage him to take a step forward?
Let’s see… Hmmmm.
You know what keeps jumping out at me from you letter? How often you speak as “we.”
“My husband and I”… “we have family there”… “we want our children”… “we’ve been talking”… “his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be.” As my dad used to say; “Unless you have a mouse in your pocket, you are not a ‘we.’” Remember: you asked me, so here’s what I think:
4. What You Should Do Now
You need to listen. I’m going to say that again, in case you missed it because you were too busy thinking about how to convince him to do what you want: YOU NEED TO LISTEN! He doesn’t want to quit his job. He doesn’t really want to move. He is not really a part of this agreeable “WE” that you keep talking about. He thinks the kids are fine. He thinks things are great the way they are. And guess what? He may be right and you may be wrong. I know that seems unlikely… being that he’s a man and all… but it does happen. Let him tell you what he thinks, and actually think about what he’s saying, instead of just thinking about what you’ll say next.Are you sure moving is what EVERYONE wants? Did you ask the kids, or TELL them? Is hubby really part of your “WE”? Or… just maybe… have you decided that you know what’s best for everyone? And is that really fair?Just some food for thought. Either way, I hope, in the end, everything works out for the best. And I hope I helped!That's Will's advice.. what would you recommend?