Ask The Good Enough Guy:
My Husband Is Procrastinating With
Our Moving Plans. Now What?
Hi Good Enough Guy:
My husband and I want to move back to our home state of Georgia from Chicago. We have family there and we want our children to be around them. I’m a teacher, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to find a job. However, my husband’s job is very specific and there wouldn’t be opportunities in his field. He would have to do a major career shift, maybe even go back to school. He’s been at his job for 20 years and he enjoys it, so I understand it’s hard to think about doing something else. We’ve been talking about moving for three years. By now he could have picked up a new skill! I feel like his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be. How can I encourage him to take a step forward?
Let’s see… Hmmmm.
You know what keeps jumping out at me from you letter? How often you speak as “we.”
“My husband and I”… “we have family there”… “we want our children”… “we’ve been talking”… “his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be.” As my dad used to say; “Unless you have a mouse in your pocket, you are not a ‘we.’” Remember: you asked me, so here’s what I think:
1. Man Law = A Man Tends To BE What He Does For A Living
(Wow! I’ve really missed spouting off man laws!) I’ve noticed, in most cases (and not ALL cases, so don’t attack me, ladies!), if you ask a woman to tell you something about herself, she says, “My name is So-In-So, I’m a married, mother of two, and I work for…” BUT if you ask a man, he says, “My name is So-In-So, and I work for…” Guys put a lot into our chosen profession. When we lose that, whether we want to admit it or not, we’re left fluttering in the wind. Right now, times are tough. The likelihood of a guy finding a job isn’t great… and the likelihood of finding a job we really like is damn near zero. You’re asking him to give up a job he’s loved for 20 years, and start all over, in the hopes that he might like something else?Oh, and another thing...