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Ask Rene: Does He Love Me Or Not?

seven red hearts over grey

Ask Rene:
Does He Love Me Or Not? 

My ex and I had dated for a bit and everything was good; I can honestly say, he has made me the happiest since my last relationship. Dealing with the death of my dad, school, looking for job and college all become a bit easier when it came to him. I began to have love for him and everything was just great. But he has another friend that he apparently has feelings for.

But what I don’t understand is that I haven’t heard him say one good thing about her except for the fact that she’s “nice”. She’s moody, sarcastic and has a flip-flop personality. I don’t see what the big whoop is about! I would do anything to get him back. We still talk every once in a while and he says he’s still attracted to me and wants me to stay in his life because I have good intentions and make him feel good….

I need help getting him back before its too late.

Sincerely, A

Hey, A:

Thanks for writing in. Couple things off the top of my head. First and foremost I want you to know you are stronger than you know. I know you think the ex-boyfriend was what got you through all those tough times but really that was you. Having said that, here is what I see and what I would do if I were you.

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DON’T RELY ON SOMEONE
ELSE TO MAKE YOU HAPPY

Creative Commons/jm3

You don’t mention how old you are but something about your letter leads me to believe you  might be young, maybe late teens or early 20’s. If that is the case you may not know this, but the bottom line is that you can never rely on someone else to make you happy. That job is too big to turn over to someone else. That’s got to come from you and you alone. While that may sound easier said than done, it’s really not. Decide what you want/need to be fulfilled in your life. Not WHO but what. Follow your own path and if, in making your way through life, you come across someone who wants to join in the journey, well, that’s cool, too. But don’t get off your path to get on someone else’s.

Read more:  Tandem Tantrums: Why Breaking Up Is Hard To Do: A Baby Momma’s Tale

IT DOESN’T MATTER WHAT
HE SAYS ABOUT THE OTHER GIRL

Creative Commons/Captivating Candles

Listen to me well. It doesn’t matter what he SAYS about the other girl; it matters what he DOES! He doesn’t sound like a dumb guy so it’s entirely possible that he is telling you what you want to hear. She’s not great, not that special, blah, blah, blah. But if he’s spending time with her and not you, well that’s really all you need to know.

You know that saying actions speak louder than words? Yeah. That.

Read more:  What’s Love Got To Do With It? 19 Lessons From 19 Years Of Marriage

YOU DESERVE BETTER

Creative Commons/deeplifequotes 

I truly wish more people understood this. You deserve all the goodness life has to offer. Standing by waiting for someone who can’t make up his mind is not part of that.

Read more:  My “Target” Moment: How I Left TV News Behind

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Now fair warning: I predict once you start distancing yourself from your ex he’s going to come back and put on the full court press. Why? because you will have decided you’re going to live your life, regardless of what he does with his. That kind of confidence is attractive so he might come running back. Just know that there are others who will also find it attractive so don’t lower the bar and settle for someone who won’t give you his all.

Good luck!

Do you have a question for Rene? She has an answer. Click here and fire away. And don’t forget to follow the conversation on Facebook and Twitter.

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Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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