A friend of mine (working mom, trying to do the best she can, sound familiar?) sent me a piece she wrote for her own blog, The Anchor Mom, that I found most interesting.
In Dallas, police arrested 17 kids in a huge heroin bust following the recent deaths of three teens. But the number of kids and their ages is not the only jarring thing. What surprised me most is that none of the kids fit the picture of what I thought a heroin addict looked like. Now, don’t jump on me; I’m not talking about race, though the majority of the kids arrested here were white. The shocking thing to me is that they were all upper-middle class and looked like good, clean kids.
Heroin. Horse. Smack. That’s what we called it. Now it’s Cheese and just as deadly. Now, Dr. Tom Wood, a chemical dependency expert says it’s time for parents to get on the offensive. He is recommending we start drug testing our children as soon at 12-years-old. Wow…
Okay, here are my thoughts. If I were a kid, who was doing all the right things, turning in homework, staying out of trouble and hadn’t given my parents a reason to suspect I was doing drugs, I’d be PISSED! How DARE they assume I was doing bad stuff! Then I look at the mug shots of these kids and you know what? They probably clean up pretty nicely. They may say “Yes Ma’am” and “No Sir”; they may play sports and go to the prom; they may even get good grades. But didn’t we all know people like that in school? The ‘performance’ their parents were treated to was very different from the real show we saw. These kids may have grown into so-called “functioning addicts” who manage the delicate balance of work and addiction until it becomes too much and comes crashing down. Or worse.
Parenting is a moving target. If you had asked me this three years ago, hell, even three MONTHS ago, I would have said, “No way! I won’t drug test my kids; I know what to look for. Besides, my kids would NEVER, get involved with that. Look where we live!”
Now, I’ll admit I’ll be talking to my husband about this one. If we do decide this is the path we’re going to take, I’m sure there will be a bit of blowback from at least one child. To that child I will explain the numbers of times I had to pee in a cup for a job, even though I have no drug record. I will explain there are things we do, like a price of admission, to be a part of this family. And I will explain, that though he/she may not understand it now, he/she will. Someday.
That’s my take, but what about you? Would you drug test your child, even if they had done nothing to raise your suspicion? Why or why not? Do you think this is a good idea or does it send the wrong message?
