Our Story Begins:
Buying a Hobby
I had taken to calling it my “mid-life crisis car.” Recently I bought a 1977 MGB. I hadn’t really been looking for a car, let alone a British convertible that came out when I was just 7-years-old. The family needed money and was selling it cheap so I bought it. Took money I had squirreled away for studio time to record more songs.
This week something interesting dawned on me, though. Just a week ago we saw the 6th anniversary of the loss of my wife. Not an anniversary you want to celebrate but it comes whether you want it to or not.
This brings me back to the car. It dawns on me how easily I made the decision to buy the car. Not that it was a ton of money, it wasn’t. This caused someone to tell me, “It’s not a mid-life crisis car; that would be if you bought a Ferrari. You bought a hobby.” That was true. The initial cost is just the car. A British car is for people who like to tinker, and this car needs some restoration. So there is more money coming out of my account in the future to pay for it.
In the past, I’d have had to consult, talk, and discuss this decision with someone else. But only now, about a week after that crazy anniversary, do I realize how easily and quickly I just made a decision. I bought the car, got in it, drove away.
This may seem a silly thing to think about but here’s some context: less than a year after Andrea passed away I had to make a decision about the Chevy Suburban that we owned. It had more than 200,000 miles on it and was nickel and diming me to death. This was Andrea’s car, though, and it was one of only a few things left. I had looked at other cars and talked with the kids and they couldn’t fathom paying the amounts of money a car costs. I ultimately made that decision on my own and we still have that new car.
But this car . . . I drove up and the kids were floored. I had a convertible and they thought it was cool. It was another of a series of things I now do that would never have happened six years ago. That may seem like insignificant little things to you but to me it’s a big thing.
This tells me that it’s been a long road, filled with big changes. But I made it through those changes and I’m pretty confident in embracing them now. My kids are all graduating from 8th grade, high school and college in the next months. I started dating. We have all seen life continue and move on without my wife here with us.
A friend made an observation. We had continued to move on, for sure. Not only that, though, we’d moved on and kept it positive and completely okay that life continued. It was going to whether we wanted it to or not. So if things are going to happen in your life, why worry about who isn’t there? She can influence and shape what kind of people we are, but ignoring great things and opportunities shouldn’t happen because someone isn’t there.
Opportunities like this 1977 MGB. It’s a hobby, sure. It’s a lot of work, too, but work I enjoy and want to put in the time.
Our lives continue and I’m thoroughly thrilled with the fact that we didn’t let the haze of grief overtake us. We walked into the sun and continue to do the things that inspire us.
That’s what life is all about anyway, right?