Raising Gaybies:
Age Is A Funny Thing (Video)


Age is a funny thing, unless you are gay, close to 50 years old, and bend over a mirror to look at your face. Try it, like Blanche did in the TV series The Golden Girls. (See clip below at 1:59).

Not so funny now, is it?

Gravity is a bitch. Recently, I purchased some “under the eye say good-bye” cream and spent $30 for a 3-ounce fountain of youth. Two weeks later, those black and blue bags under my eyes are still packed and ready for travel.

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At a recent pool party, a gay friend of mine said he had some “work” done on his face. I was like “really, where?” Then another friend chimed in and stated he had some Boxtox injections in his forehead to smooth out age lines (formally known as wrinkles). One friend told me he had his armpits injected with Boxtox to stop his profuse old man sweating problem.

Creepy skin is upon us all. Yes, we all know the gays love their beauty products, have been to the Clinique counter at a major department store lately? Yes, I had some work done – like 20 years ago. I had some hair transplanted from the back of my head to the front. Now, as our children like to point out so innocently, “Papa, your hair is turning gray.” My husband nicknamed me “tinsel top.”

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Old age is in sight, and people who used to want to pick me up for some fun – now offer to help me cross a crowded street for a scout badge. In fact, I don’t wear much cologne anymore. Sadly, the last guy who tried to pick me up was the Terminex man. He politely asked me what cologne I was wearing. So I looked at him and said, it’s called “Verbena” from L’Occitane en Provence. He said, I like the smell. To which I quickly replied, yes, “Verbena, It’s a bar of soap” – he left – I laughed – and then I closed the door – on him and my youth.

How about you? Have you made peace with aging or are you fighting it every step of the way?