Hiding a golden ring
Ask Rene:

My Dad Cheated On My Mom!
And I Have A Sibling!

 

Dear Rene,

My parents, John and Josie have been married for almost 45 years. They met as teenagers and fell for each other in high school.

I am 40 years old and their only child, or so I thought. I recently found out that I have a secret half sister, Lynn, the result of an affair my dad had years ago.

Of course, I’m shocked and disappointed to find out that my father cheated on my mom, but to find out I have a sibling has been a double whammy. An old family friend told me about Lynn because he thought I should know. And no, Lynn and I haven’t met yet since I’m still unsure about how I feel.

I’ve been watching the coverage of Maria and Arnold’s marital problems and am constantly reminded of my father’s own betrayal towards my mom. We all see how upsetting this news can be to a family.

Rene, My mom and dad are happily married now and I don’t think my mom knows. Should I say anything or leave it alone?

Allison, Oklahoma

 

 

Dear Allison:

No. No, no, nononononononono! AGH! I know you’re shocked and disappointed. I know you’re hurt. I know you feel the need to share that with someone and I would absolutely encourage you to do that, with anyone BUT your mother! Here’s why.

 

2. Question The Motive Of The "Family Friend"

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Ewwww this is stinky. Who the hell is this “family friend” who, after years of knowing this, felt it necessary to burden you with it? Because that’s exactly what it is. This person could have gone to their grave with this and no one would be the wiser. Now you’re struggling to deal with a matter over which you have no control. I would explain to this “family friend” in no uncertain terms, how much you did NOT appreciate him “sharing” this information. I’d also ask him put a sock in it if he ever felt compelled to say this to anyone else. Then I’d go ahead and remove him from my Rolodex. You know why? Because this nugget of information wasn’t shared with you from a place of love. You don’t need people like that in your life. Buh-Bye.