Raising Gaybies:
The $h#t Our Kids Say!


I understand more about theoretical physics than the biblical history of the world.

I haven’t read more than a few pages of the bible but finished 2 of Stephen Hawking books.

I work harder solving the New York Times crossword puzzle than contemplating challenging interpretations of scripture.

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The only person who owns less than me about being Jewish, well — seems to be me. Because it appears our 7 year old son is “Chock full o’Nuts” about the Judeo-Christian celebration of the Passover and Easter holidays. Here’s how this a recent morning’s conversation “went down” over bowls of oatmeal:

Gregory (7 years old): Papa, did you know that Jesus walked through the desert for 40 days and ran out of food and then he died.

Me: I thought that was Moses?

Gregory (7 years old): Uh No Papa, that is what Easter is about.

Me: Really? I thought Easter it was about the resurrection of Christ?

Gregory (7 years old): Yes, but Jesus died on the cross because people didn’t like him because of the 40 days he walked in the desert.

Me: I see.

Gregory (7 years old): Oh, and do you know what I am giving up for lent Papa?

Me: No idea.

Gregory (7 years old): School and Homework!

Me: Really.

Gregory (7 years old): Oh and you know what else is cool, Easter falls on Grandma’s birthday.

Me: Oy Vay!

Read more: What Matters Most: 9 Things I’ve Learned As A Mom of 9 Kids

If it isn’t obvious, we are a reform Jewish family raising Jewish kids. So I think its time to put down the puzzles of daily life and leave the mysteries of the universe to the experts — so I can begin wrapping my head around issues of faith. Can’t wait till he starts asking about the “gay” thing — that is coming soon.