lost sex drive

Ask Rene:
My Sex Drive Has Left The Building. Help!


Dear Rene:

I’m hoping you can help.

I’m only 40, and have been in a relationship for two years. The sex has always been great and plenty of it! But just in the last few months I have withdrawn and haven’t been in the mood!

It’s gotten to the point where my man actually asked if there was another man in my life! Now I’m hurt and angry with him for even thinking that!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??? Desperately in need of some help!!!


Not in the mood



Hi, Not in the Mood:

Let me preface this by saying I am not a doctor, but I am a woman in her 40’s so I can relate to what you’re saying and from what I’ve read and heard from my own girlfriends, it’s not all that uncommon for a woman to lose or at least experience a lagging sex drive. Hormones start to go all wonky and then there’s this thing called life that gets in the way. So from my strictly layperson perspective, I think you need to fight this on three fronts, the physical, mental and emotional.


1. Physical

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Get thee to the doctor, stat! You need a full physical, complete with an examination of your girly bits. As we age, flagging hormones not only mean (possible) loss of desire, but even if the mind is willing, the body might not cooperate. Check your hormone and thyroid levels and address those if you need to. I would also recommend some sort of regular exercise. Getting older means having to work harder to maintain lean muscle mass. So time to implement an exercise program that involves weights to keep muscles firm and strong. Let’s also lose some of the bad habits of our youth; no smoking, no excessive drinking and clean up your diet with less processed and more whole grain foods. Those steps should make you feel better in relatively short order.