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Our Story Begins: New Year, New Roads, New Goals


Our Story Begins:
New Year, New Roads, New Goals


It’s officially 2016, in case the year flew by you and left you behind. I can say this . . . because it’s certainly done that for me.

I have stated, nearly annually here on Good Enough Mother, that I don’t like New Year’s Resolutions. I never have. Losing weight? That’s not a “resolution”, which we’ve taken to mean something we say but never do. It’s not a sprint, it’s a marathon. I’m not perfect, I could be thinner, but it’s a goal.

But it’s good to have goals.

Related: Our Story Begins: Resolutions Redux

2016 is a goal-filled year.  That’s for sure.

I have one daughter in college, the other in high-school and two boys. I plan to have the middle daughter licensed and able to drive. That’s been something she’s unfathomably delayed and I don’t know why. She’s already 16 and I couldn’t wait to get behind the wheel by myself. We’ve already started that process. It will give her some freedom and certainly give me another set of wheels to pick up the boys.


In the last couple years I told my children that if we learned any lesson it’s to do what you love. Enjoy your life, your job, your love, whatever. It was one piece of the decision my daughter made to pursue her degree in college. She since turned those words on me and said I had to do the same thing…and record all the material I’ve had stockpiled and release a solo record. That’s happening, by the way, in 2016. The studio beckons and I have musicians ready and willing to help.


My middle daughter and one of my sons are both guitar players, too. I plan on making them do more: more open-mic nights. More of everything. I hope they enjoy it and want to do more and I plan on joining them every step of the way.

While the music is something for me . . . a personal life is, too. I now have one, met someone, am taking it very slowly, and my kids say they haven’t seen me this happy in years. That’s a big thing because juggling kids, work, chores, a personal life too? That’s not easy, not for anyone involved. It’s an emotional minefield and you don’t have the map so you tread lightly and hope you don’t hear the “click” of stepping in the wrong emotional spot.

One of my sons is part of the school student council and another is joining an academic club. That’s not easy to juggle but I do it because they deserve it. I can’t be at everything and I need to come to terms with that, but the important things? Those I will attend and they know it. The parties, the recitals . . .

We go for more of those “bucket” list ideas, though we aren’t dying so it’s not a kick the bucket kind of thing. I’m going to see one of my guitar heroes in March. I’m visiting places I’ve never been. I’m taking the kids along for the journey.

Here’s the thing: these seem both big and small. Small trips, dinner at home, cleaning the house regularly, encouraging music, sports if they want them, more recitals, more enjoyment. Dancing in the kitchen cooking together. Those are all things we need to do. Then there’s recording a record and going out of town without the kids . . . all things big and small.

Related: Our Story Begins: Three Years Later, From the Beginning

But you have to realize something. Nearly five years ago I didn’t see any of this. Five years ago, after losing my wife, I had to remind myself to breathe. I had to wake up every morning and remember that I was in the bed by myself.

Slowly, without realizing it, and without thinking, it all changed. Suddenly I have goals. I looked up this New Year’s Eve and I had plans.

So no, I won’t be making a resolution. I will be planning and trying my hardest to achieve my goals. What about you? What’s your 2016 look like?

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