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Raising Gaybies: Gay, Family of 4 Your Table is Ready!

Paying Restaurant Bill With A Credit Card
Raising Gaybies:

Gay, Family of 4 Your Table is Ready!


I don’t like it when my socks get wet. Drives me crazy! I don’t like cold air on my skin when I get out of the shower. Gives me the shivers. I also don’t like when people fart in a public restroom when they take a leak. Very disturbing. But what I really don’t like is when our family of 4 goes out to eat and the server asks “How should I split up the check?” How about how should I split up your tip? Besides being overly presumptuous, it’s a dumbass question. This is subtleness at its worst.

Two men, 2 kids, must be dad’s night out? Right? They couldn’t be a “family?” You should hear some of the quips people come up to us with and say..

“Looks like mom is taking the day off.”
What I want to say is “Mom has a penis and he is raising twins babies…nice to meet you too.”

Or “Where is mom today?”
I would love to say “Well, Mom got eaten by a shark while we were playing at the beach… thanks for reminding me and our children – we tried so hard to forget, the funeral is tomorrow.”

Related: Raising Gaybies: The Definition Of Family And What Kindergarten Can Teach Us All

We may have the blessing of 9 unelected judges, but there exists a double edged sword that comes with equality. We have a “fabulous” bundle of rights but it comes with a haystack of other issues.. Mainly educating public perceptions that seem to still parallel outdated traditions.

I think the root of the problem is that some people feel if they are classified as “gay” it is offensive. That didn’t change with the Supreme Court decision in June 2015. See, I would love for the “assumption” not to be offensive. That is why the “waiter” asked to split the check. When is the slightest implication of being gay or being a gay family not looked upon as an insult? When will it just be a non event?

So the next time a waiter may wonder who is going to pay.. Maybe a better way to inquire would be “How do you all want to pay” .. And lose the stereotype.. But that may be asking for too much too soon… Or like hoping to find that proverbial needle but this time, in a “gaystack.”

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