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Live, Love, Blend: Vacation Planning: With or Without the KIDS?

BeachVacation

Live, Love, Blend:
Vacation Planning:
With or Without the KIDS?

We don’t vacation much. I could blame it on our busy schedules, or the cost-prohibitive nature of traveling as a party of 7. Both of those are valid excuses, but the truth is, vacationing as a blended family can be so complicated that it’s easier to avoid it all together. Especially when the burden of planning, scheduling, shopping, arranging and otherwise juggling the entire event falls on one person. You moms know exactly what I mean.

For example, my husband would love to go skiing. He has brought it up several times over the years, and he means ALL of us. He starts talking about how fun it would be and my mind immediately starts making a list of all the clothing and supplies seven Texans would need to keep from freezing our thin skins, plus ski/snowboard/boot rentals, lessons for the first-timers, travel and lodging, and do you have any idea how much they eat?!   My poor husband’s dream vacation has just snowballed into my panic attack. Ok, perhaps it’s not quite that dramatic, but you get the idea.

Related: Ask Rene: Is Three A Crowd On Vacation?

My dilemma, however, is more than the effort and expense of the large group. I have to wonder if family vacations wouldn’t be more enjoyable if we left a kid or two at home. In other words, can we take just the 4 boys since they are the ones who live with us full time, and risk leaving out the 10-year-old girl? She travels a lot with her mom’s family so is it fair that she would get multiple vacations if we brought her along? But what would the repercussions be if we didn’t?

Or what about the 21-year-old? Just because he lives at home does that mean we are still obligated to fund his fun?  At what point should he be planning his own vacations?

These are the types of questions that go through my mind. I know I should have such an abundance of love and generosity that I ignore questions of cost and convenience, but seriously, why pay to drag teen-aged boys to Walt Disney World just so they can say they’ve been? You know they would complain the entire time. Or why take a young girl on a mountain hiking trip where you fear the boys might leave her behind?  Perhaps it’s best to just sneak away without any of them!

shareIDLife_PuntaCana

This very topic came up last week while my husband and I were vacationing in Punta Cana, Dominican Republic. We were there as part of an incentive trip with our network marketing business. We loved having a chance to get away just the two of us (something we’d never done before). However, at least twice a day some sort of comment would be made about how fun it would be to bring the kids next time. To which I’d think, “yes” and “no”.

COUPLEtime

I’d love to hear your suggestions. Are you a “like it or not, you’ve gotta take them all” person, or a “just stick with couples trips” person, or a “take one or two kids at a time so you can choose destinations that reflect their interests, and yours” person?  I can’t wait to hear your thoughts!

4 Comments

  1. Tarah

    November 11, 2015 at 9:52 am

    My husband and I took a vacation to Costa Rica earlier this year – without the kids. My oldest was just under 3 and my youngest had just turned 1. It was our 5th anniversary trip and the only vacation we’d taken since our honeymoon. We missed them, but with Skype and WiFi we were able to speak with them.
    My husband would say “We should bring the kids here.” I disagreed. We went horseback riding, hiking, ziplining, snorkeling, etc. All stuff our kids can’t do yet. Taking them at this point would have been just sitting at the beach – which my husband HATES. So we take long weekends with the boys on kid-friendly activities. They are happy with that and are able to keep to their schedules mostly.

  2. Patti

    November 12, 2015 at 10:30 am

    Any marriage needs alone time to thrive – so don’t feel guilty about going alone! For family trips, consider having the 18 and older kids pay their own way, or part of it at least. Yes, they are part of the family but at some point we all cross the line from kid to adult and have to take responsibility for ourselves. Glad you enjoyed the trip, loved the pics!

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