Better Not Bitter:
You’ve Got to Believe in Divorce, Too
My high school senior is a big fan of “Family Guy” the animated television show. I haven’t watched an animated show since the Jackson 5 was a cartoon, so you can imagine I knew very little about the show. I started to pay attention just a bit as I cooked dinner in the kitchen, while he watched in the family room. I asked a couple of questions here and there, but it was kind of background in between our conversations during commercials.
Then the other day, I happened to see an interview about divorce with a name I recognized from the show credits. Alex Borstein, who voices the mom character on the show is in the midst of a divorce. The interview was thought-provoking because she is totally honest about going through the process. And the importance of not beating yourself up, but making the best of what life has dealt you.
When I read her words, “If you believe in romance and if you believe in marriage, you also have to believe in divorce…you can’t just want to go to weddings and children’s birthday parties. You’ve got to witness it all. We’re just here to witness and believe in both.” I think her perspective is open and brave and something that a lot of people need to hear.
Life is full of lots of good things for most people. But not everyone gets the the wonderful life. To be honest, I don’t think anyone does. One of my coworkers got married yesterday. This is his second marriage, having gotten divorced not long after my ex and I. I thought of him and people who have faced divorce or loss and moved forward in life to believe in romance and marriage again.
There is a season to go through the bad stuff, but when we’re going through it, we have to remember it’s just for a season. And that good things can result from tough situations. Alex goes on to explain how she thinks it’s good for our children to understand that life doesn’t have balance. That you can’t manage it all, all the time.
Working moms need to hear this. As a divorced single mom, it made me feel good to read those words. Confirmation that if I’m missing moments over their lives as I juggle and made it work, things are still ok. That although it may not be balanced, “it’s going to be the very best that I can do.”
I don’t usually agree with actors and celebrities who give advice about divorce, or life in general, because it often seems they are so removed from the reality of regular people. This time I’m happy I clicked on the lady’s name from Family Guy. I think her perspective was spot-on, how about you?