Ask Rene:
I Just Found Out My Daughter Had An Abortion…


Dear Rene,

I just found out that my 20-year-old daughter had an abortion last year and I’m really having a difficult time accepting her decision.

Tracey is at an out of state college but we talk every week and I thought we had a good relationship. I knew she was going through a difficult time last year but I had no idea that she was pregnant or had chosen to terminate her pregnancy.

Tracey knows that I am anti-abortion and would have talked her out of the decision – so I feel betrayed on a lot of levels. It’s caused a great deal of tension between us and I’m struggling to know where we go from here.

What do you advise, Rene?


Tina, Idaho



Dear Tina:

Abortion is one of those hot button issues that even I shy away from. It is an intensely personal decision yet perfect strangers feel comfortable trying to impose their will and beliefs on others. Because of that I have hesitated to show my cards but I will before I give you my answer. I am PRO-CHOICE. Please understand, that does not mean PRO-ABORTION, in fact for me at this stage in my life, I am anti-abortion. FOR ME! But what works for me is not going to work for someone else and it’s flat out wrong for me try to influence someone else’s decision based on what I believe. Okay, now that we have that out of the way, you asked me what I think. My advice to you is:


Here’s why:

1. This Was Tracey's Decision

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She’s 20. She goes to school out of state. She had sex and got pregnant. Of those facts, only one of them involves you and that’s only if you are footing the bill for her college tuition. You need to put away your hurt feelings and look at this as dispassionately as possible. I don’t care how close your relationship with your daughter is or how close you think it is, the fact is at 19 Tracey found herself pregnant with a pro-life mother who she clearly didn’t feel comfortable talking to. Would you? So she took matters into her own hands and handled the situation in the way that best suited HER life, not yours.