10 From GEM:
10 Ways To Deal With
Family Dysfunction and Drama
You cannot pick your family, but you can pick your point of view and you can pick your reactions. You can select your spot within the family circle and play out your role in a positive and collaborative manner. Things don’t have to be tense whenever the family gets together, in fact they shouldn’t be. During the holidays, family time together is finite and infrequent, so based on that alone we should make the effort to make the time as stress-free and as enjoyable as possible.
Everyone else’s families look great from the outside, and I’ll bet your family must look great from someone else’s point of view. That’s because we all wear social masks and that’s okay. Unfortunately, our fantasies of loving families around the table does not live up to what’s really happening with our own family members and that creates disappointment. Anytime you have an expectation the end result is disappointment.
So since we can’t change our families, we can change our point of view and our course of action. The reality is most families experience some type of stress during get togethers, so you’re not alone. Being that time together is finite and infrequent, focus on keeping the mood light, fun, peaceful and calm.
10 From GEM has ten easy tips to help you cope with family dysfunction and drama.
8. Stop Taking Things Personally
What people think, feel, say and how they act toward you has less to do about you and more about them. Their behavior is a reflection of them and their life experiences. It is not about you and your experiences. If they don't thank you for the gift, if they make disapproving comments or make demands of you, it's about who they are. Don't allow that to reflect on you and do not allow it to enter your core.