10 From GEM:
10 Ways To Deal With
Family Dysfunction and Drama
You cannot pick your family, but you can pick your point of view and you can pick your reactions. You can select your spot within the family circle and play out your role in a positive and collaborative manner. Things don’t have to be tense whenever the family gets together, in fact they shouldn’t be. During the holidays, family time together is finite and infrequent, so based on that alone we should make the effort to make the time as stress-free and as enjoyable as possible.
Everyone else’s families look great from the outside, and I’ll bet your family must look great from someone else’s point of view. That’s because we all wear social masks and that’s okay. Unfortunately, our fantasies of loving families around the table does not live up to what’s really happening with our own family members and that creates disappointment. Anytime you have an expectation the end result is disappointment.
So since we can’t change our families, we can change our point of view and our course of action. The reality is most families experience some type of stress during get togethers, so you’re not alone. Being that time together is finite and infrequent, focus on keeping the mood light, fun, peaceful and calm.
10 From GEM has ten easy tips to help you cope with family dysfunction and drama.
1. Maintain Status Quo
Keep things the way they are. Don't alter your beliefs or comfort level for anything or anyone. Conversely, don't expect your family members to change for you. Accept the things you cannot change and your family members for who they are. You might just be surprised that they may be making small changes themselves.