Life Lessons:
Cary Lovejoy Lawler


*Are you happy at the moment?


*If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

You’re so worried about whether you’ll get into a good college, have a good career, get married and have kids. You will. Your dreams will come true. So, don’t forget to enjoy the journey.

*What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

Things don’t happen the way you may have expected them to, but they really do work out. Breastfeeding was painful, difficult, and heartbreaking at times—we had to supplement with formula. But we kept going for a whole year. Things really do work out. So, despite the struggles, the exhaustion, and the surprises, don’t miss the wonderful and magical parts of parenting.

*What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

In the next 12 months, I’d like to finish interviewing the moms, psychologists, postpartum experts and pediatric experts for my Mama Lovejoy blog and my upcoming book. Also, I’d like to write and publish the book.

*What’s your secret to happiness?

During a tough time, like when the baby’s sick and I can’t even put her down, I’ll remember how wonderful it is to be so important to someone.

*What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

I try to get outside every single day, even if all we do is go to the grocery store or the park.

*What’s your biggest regret?

I wish I’d said “thank you” more often after having a baby. I think it would have helped my husband to feel more appreciated, which may have helped him want to be more involved.

*What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

Be a good person—be nice to others, be genuine, and be good to yourself.

*What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

I have a serious chocolate addiction. Honestly, don’t want to give up chocolate though…

*Aside from motherhood/fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

I’m proud that I’ve learned to believe in myself, even when the world doesn’t. When I tried to get internships as a college Freshman, hiring managers laughed at me, saying I was too young. Well, by the time I finished college, I’d completed three internships. When a fertility specialist told us we’d have a hard time getting pregnant, I felt empowered, because I then knew what our obstacles were, so we knew what to do. We got pregnant the next month.

*When were you happiest?

I’m happiest in the moments when I hear my daughter’s squeaky little laugh, or when my husband and I both hold her hands and we all walk together.

*What ten words best describe you?

Loyal, Loving, Sweet, Playful, Ambitious, Trustworthy, Intelligent, Compassionate, Adventurous, Mom


Cary Lovejoy Lawler is a wife, mother, and freelance writer. She loves her daughter with her whole heart and loves being a mother. She was struck, though, by how many challenges she and her mom friends could have avoided if people spoke more candidly about parenthood. So, she set out to interview 100 mothers, pediatricians, psychologists, and postpartum experts, to share their stories, tips and surprises in her blog, Mama Lovejoy (also on Facebook). She has also written for Pregnancy & Newborn Magazine, Scary Mommy, Vaccinate California, CEO Blog Nation and others.