Raising Gaybies: The Day I Chickened Out About Telling My Story : Good Enough Mother

Raising Gaybies:
The Day I Chickened Out About Telling My Story

Pass the syrup papa, oh and are you a bottom?

I have anxiety… and most of my fears about the sky falling have transitioned from my job as an attorney to my role as a parent, aka Papa. Months before our twins were born, I feared how each would adapt to being the son and daughter of same-sex parents. Might one day at the breakfast table would our son say “Papa, pass the syrup, and by the way who is the bottom?” Could our daughter ask “Daddy, some of the girls at school said you are sinners!” Ugh! What I failed to take into account was the environment of today’s youth and how that would shape and alter my trepidations of the future.

Just the other day, a 7 year-old boy in our kids’ soccer class came to me and asked “Excuse me, Gregory said you are his Papa, so who is his Daddy?”

Think about that question. He didn’t ask about a Mommy.

This 1st grader who looked at me as serious and stoic as he might ask you for your name, was seemingly indifferent that our son has 2 dads – it wasn’t out of the ordinary in his mind.

It was eerily very normal, to him.

It took me more than several seconds to decide what to do… So I chickened out.

I was afraid to acknowledge that our son had 2 dads for fear of answering to his parents. How am I supposed to guess at how he was raised – what if his parents came up and confronted me – “How dare you espouse your homosexual views on my 7 year old.”

Anxiety – see.

I was disappointed in myself – but – I felt compelled and afraid to engage in any conversation with such a young person about gay families.

In hindsight – I could have been more blunt — maybe more honest — and I should have said something like — “Yes, Gregory has 2 daddies” and then leave it there.

I mean if we are to be accepted by the country and the world – we might as well get used to it.

After all, the 7 year gets it… Why couldn’t I?

Lesson learned.