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What Matters Most: I Do NOT Have Time For A Personal Meltdown!

What Matters Most:
I Do NOT Have Time For A Personal Meltdown!


Confession time. The last few months have been hard for me as I worked through some “demons” in my own head and heart to bring about much needed change in my personal life. As a Mom I have found myself fighting the funk, dealing with depression or maybe it was just not having the zest or zeal for life. Ever been there?

…but then I think to myself  “I do NOT have time for a personal meltdown!” and yet that is where I found myself.

It’s not a fun place to be. I kept thinking to myself that it really makes no sense after all…Am I not “living the dream”? I have a loving husband, adorable kids, a wonderful church family, friends that will meet up with me for coffee, a career that I get to do from home…but somewhere I’d lost myself, my joy along the way.

The fast pace and demands of our daily lives, giving and serving, doing and going…it all takes it’s toll. Especially when we do not carve out downtime or me time or whatever you want to call it. We have to recharge and refuel ourselves or eventually we will find that we have nothing left to give.

Related: 10 From GEM: 10 Ways To Boost Your Energy

The thing is as we grow older and our kids grow older, they are watching how we care for ourselves. They are watching how we walk and talk at home and when we’re with others.

The questions I had to ask myself were “Am I living true to myself and my family? Am I guilty of putting on a mask and just pretending all is well when I’m with others or on social media…and yet at home, behind closed doors our life is really a mess?”

Authenticity is what I desire. I want to be real before my kids and those we do life with. I want them to see that I am strong, not perfect and that I am happy and fulfilled and not overwhelmed and exhausted all the time.

I want my kids to embrace the life they are creating and living rather than just going through the motions. Except that is exactly how I was going about my days, every single day.

I knew that in order for all of us to live that kind of a life that I needed to change up some things.

One night I had a conversation with a few of my older teens. They said that they didn’t think that they ever wanted to have children because it seemed like such a huge, exhausting, life draining challenge and that they could not see how it could be worth all the sacrifice.

Related: Tales From A Twin Mom: I Lied, I Cried And Other Mommy Confessions

Sigh…my Mama heart was crushed inside…I created that. Not by my words. Not by anything I would have ever taught them…because children are a blessing, right? But it was by my daily living that they learned this “truth”.

Because here’s the deal…Our children learn more from us by how we are living than by what we are trying to teach or preach at them.

During the last couple of months I have purposely stopped some of the craziness in my life. I needed to be able to slow down so that I could figure out what was draining me and to find my joy again so that I could lead my tribe well. I knew that I was falling apart on the inside and was not able to give myself to my family…at least not the way I wanted.

Here are five things that helped me to pull myself up out of the funk:

4. PJ Pants Are Great, But . . .

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There's nothing worse than a neighbor stopping by or friend driving up the driveway at noon and you're still in your PJ's. You run and close the blinds and hide behind the wall telling your kids SHHHHH, don't even say a word! Don't judge. You know you've been there!

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