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Ask Rene: Single Mom Looking For Love

Two Wedding Rings Resting Together

Ask Rene:
Single Mom Looking For Love

 

Hello Rene –

I am a single mother of two boys. One is ten and the other is four. My children are by two different men. I have never been married but I desire to be.

I spend all of my time with my children because I have no babysitters (limited funds) and my children do not get to visit their dads often (father’s choices).

I don’t know how to be approachable without looking like the desperate mom who wants someone to share her life with someone. Dating has proved to be virtually non-existent. I feel like I will never get married.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s that I want to be married or that I just want to be okay with being alone.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

Signed: Alone in Alabama

 

 

Dear Alone:

I’m glad you wrote because you have quite a bit of work to do. It won’t be impossible but it won’t be easy either and it starts by changing your focus. Instead of looking externally, time to turn the microscope inward.

 

3. Do Not Wait To Be Rescued

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What if Prince Charming never comes along? There are some women who never get married. Will you wait for him, hoping he comes riding up to sweep you away from debt and despair or will you make it happen yourself? My advice; don’t wait. Assume right now that you will have to do it all on your own. You need to figure out a way to not only make it happen but you happy in the process. Lean on family, friends and neighbors for support. Get out on your own, develop a hobby, take a class, do some volunteer work whatever it is but work on you.

Before I go, let me add, it might be a good idea to look into the Big Brothers Big Sisters program. if your boys do not have strong, male role models in their lives. And while you’re working on you, one more thing; no more babies by men you’re not married to okay?

Good luck mommy!

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(Editor's Note: This piece ran in its original format on 2/25/2011)

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