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Ask Rene: Single Mom Looking For Love

Two Wedding Rings Resting Together

Ask Rene:
Single Mom Looking For Love


Hello Rene –

I am a single mother of two boys. One is ten and the other is four. My children are by two different men. I have never been married but I desire to be.

I spend all of my time with my children because I have no babysitters (limited funds) and my children do not get to visit their dads often (father’s choices).

I don’t know how to be approachable without looking like the desperate mom who wants someone to share her life with someone. Dating has proved to be virtually non-existent. I feel like I will never get married.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s that I want to be married or that I just want to be okay with being alone.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

Signed: Alone in Alabama



Dear Alone:

I’m glad you wrote because you have quite a bit of work to do. It won’t be impossible but it won’t be easy either and it starts by changing your focus. Instead of looking externally, time to turn the microscope inward.


1. Work On You

Image 1 of 3

I’m starting with this one because this is the most important. I’m also ripping a page right out of our Good Enough Guy’s playbook but basically in order to GET a good catch you have to BE a good catch.

I hope I’m not overstepping here but you sound like you might be young, under 30 or so. With limited funds and the age of the youngest boy, I’m thinking you may not work outside the home. I’m also curious about your education. How much have you completed? Because let me just be really real here. Look at this from the man’s perspective. He’s a doctor or CEO; will he be attracted to a woman with two boys from two men who doesn’t work and has limited education? I’m not saying that’s the case because there are some parts of your story I don’t know. But you have to have something to offer, other than a great body (which you probably have if you’re young). That will keep a man for about the first 15 days. Then you’re going to need a whole lot more; wit, intelligence, sense of humor, compassion, the ability to carry on a conversation about things other than yourself.

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