Ask Rene:
My Ex-Boyfriend’s New Girlfriend


Hi Rene:

I am a longtime reader but I don’t think I have seen this topic addressed yet. 

My ex-boyfriend and I were together for four years. I got pregnant very soon in the relationship and we have a son. We share custody of him and so far things have been going pretty well. Until recently.

My ex has a new girlfriend and they have been together just a couple of months. Well, the other day, my son came home and told me that she had spanked him! Needless to say I am FURIOUS!

I haven’t had a chance to talk with my ex about it but I’m pretty sure that when I do, the conversation will not go well. 

Rene, what should I do?


Pissed in Peoria


Dear Pissed:

I’d probably be pissed too but I think cooler heads need to prevail in this case. So let’s look at the facts as we know them and take it from there, shall we? Here’s what I would do if I were you.


1. Find Out What Really Happened

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You don't say how old your son is, but I assume he's about three or so. If I recall correctly (my kids are a good deal older now), sometimes it's hard to discern what they are saying and in the proper context. So the first thing I think you need to do is make sure you know what happened while he was in the care of the new girlfriend. Did he have any marks? Was anyone else in the vicinity who might be able to clearly detail what happened? I'm not saying you should not trust and believe your son; I am saying you need to be very clear on what exactly happened before you proceed.