I remember when my sweet baby girl was first placed in my arms and that fierce love that washed over me. I knew that there wasn’t anything I wouldn’t do to keep her safe or fight for her so that she could be all that God had called her to be.
I did all the crazy, over the top, research as a new Mom. I wanted the safest car-seat and purchased the best cloth diapers and wraps and had read all the parenting books that friends said were a must read.
Every week I’d make up home-made baby food and freeze it in the little ice cube trays. I always carried disinfectant wipes and those little plastic disposable place-mats in my diaper bag. I did everything I knew to protect her and help her to grow strong.
Isn’t that what we Moms are supposed to do? Protect, support, teach, encourage, correct and help build them up, as well as, snuggle and hold them tight? Through the years we get very good at taking care of things for these little people that God has placed in our care.
Then BAM they hit their teen years and somehow we are to lovingly and willingly start to let go. Yeah. That is hard on a Mama’s heart!
Here’s the thing that hits home for me. As Mothers we will either help or hinder the development of our children’s ability to be ready to fly. By our words and by our actions. Whether we shelter too much or not enough, either way seems like a potential train wreck, right?! We have to learn that balance of letting go and yet holding close. Not too close but not too loose and being willing to admit when we blew it.
All I know is that somehow I blinked and went from tucking her safely in her bassinet to watching her drive off in her car with her brother to meet up with friends.
As her car drove off out of sight that very first time I felt those protective Mama Bear pangs of fear…You know where you think of all the horrible things that could happen.
Learning to trust God with all things, especially my heart, is a tough one for me. Mentally, yes, I trust God completely. But inside my heart, if you could see how fear can sometimes grip my heart you’d think differently…and if I were to be truly honest, my biggest fear is that something horrible will happen to her and I’d have to do life without her.
In a few short days this amazing, little human being that was placed in my arms almost 18 years ago, will graduate from high school. Such an exciting time for her as she gets to work on finding out what she is passionate about, what she believes she is called to do and where her next step or steps will take her.
I’m beyond excited for all that lies ahead for her and yet grappling with wanting to go back and slow time down. To spend more time with her. To pour more into her heart. To sit and enjoy a cup of coffee and laugh with her or go shopping or cook dinner together.
It is these simple, seemingly insignificant moments that I treasure most and that bring such joy to my heart.
Now I know…THIS is what people mean when they say it all goes by so fast.
What matters most and what I want her to believe with her whole heart is that she is a young woman of worth. For her to know that she is unconditionally loved by her Dad and me and to know that she was made by God’s hands and dreamed up in His heart and placed in this world at this very time, for a very special purpose.
I want her to have the confidence to take those first steps and spread her wings and fly and yet know that she always has a safe place to come back to.
I want her to believe in herself. To not get caught up with what others think about who she is or what she is pursuing. To be empowered to know that she does not have to stay in a toxic friendship or relationship. To not compare herself to others but rather to step up and be the best she can be and encourage others to do the same….For little girls with dreams become women with vision…and so her adventure begins.
Always remember, sweet girl of mine, that I love you for all that you are and all that you have been and all that you’re yet to be!
Corrine, wherever you go…go with all your heart!
I believe one of the biggest rewards that I could ever be given as a Mother will be when my children want to come back and visit because they love and respect me and just want to spend time with me.
What are some things that come to mind for you, that would help you know that you were a good Mom, that you were successful in raising your child(ren)?