A side view closeup of the metal nib of an old fountain pen drawing a straight ink line on a textured paper surface

Ask Rene:
Where Should This Grandma Draw The Line?

Hey Rene,

I’m so confused and I hope you can help. My dearest, genius daughter had a baby. She is a single parent. She is intelligent, brilliant and very educated. I have taught her to be single and independent. Last year she produced Sydney and decided not to marry her boyfriend of four years whom she met in college.

She and Syd live in the suburbs and they are fine but somehow I just feel that she is not a good enough mother for Syd. I find myself completely taking over her mom duties. Syd and I hang out, we do ABC’s, she spends her time in my downtown loft, she’s probably the only baby familiar with jazz, James Taylor and poets.

I am upset when my brilliant daughter, Nikko comes to pick her up or tell her she has to go home. I have developed Syd a really cool wardrobe complete with boyfriend jeans and really cool 70’s attire. She feels like my daughter. Am I over doing it? Where do I draw a line with myself as a grandmom?

Signed: Concerned Grandmother


Dear Grandmother:

I’ve always been of the belief that within us, we have the answers to many of the issues we face in life. In fact, I’m willing to bet, that if we got together and drank an entire box of Franzia wine, you would solve this on your own without me ever having to say a word. But I’m here and you’re there, so we’ll do it this way. There are a couple of thoughts that immediately come to mind so here goes.

1. Babies Are The Best

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Well, who doesn’t love babies? They are cute, give unconditional love, don’t talk back, look at you wide-eyed like you hung the moon and smell pretty good, for the most part. In such a cynical world the love they offer is pure and before you know it, we’ve let down our guard and our faith in humanity is restored. Sign me up for all of that!