Tales From A Twin Mom: An IVF Mom On The
Dolce And Gabbana Drama
Recently, Italian designers Dolce and Gabbana were interviewed by Panorama Magazine, and were quoted as saying that children born through IVF were “synthetic” and unnatural. Dolce said that creating children “must be an act of love,’ adding, “You are born to a mother and a father – or at least that’s how it should be.”
Yes, that was my first thought. I’m going to have to stop, breathe and think before I write an article on GEM about how absolutely idiotic these comments are. My second thought? I have to trash that cashmere sweater and over priced sunglasses, as I would rather be cold during the winter and burn my eyes during the summer than to support designers who have less common sense than a mosquito.
Let me start by saying that I am a FIRM supporter of gay marriage. I believe that two people who love each other should have the option of getting married in any state, on any planet, in any universe. In many ways, I can sympathize with same sex couples’ yearning to have children; as I was told years ago I would not be able to do it the “natural” way. There was nothing that both saddened and pissed me off more than having to hear that. No, I didn’t come to terms with it; I fought tooth and nail to have more. I went ahead and did IVF- a process so life changing and crazy that I can only describe it as a roller coaster ride taken without breathing.
That being said, I read in a book once that you should write down what makes you angry and then “give it to the universe”… Dolce, Gabbana- I tried to be as nice as possible, but the following letter is for you . . .
Dear Dolce and Gabbana,
I want to think that what I read in your Panorama interview was incorrect and that you don’t have the intelligence of peas. You have the right to your opinions, but did you really take into consideration all the people you would piss off/hurt after stating such worthless crap? I have four children. Two of them are, as you would state “synthetic.” Funny, I looked up the term in dictionary and it stated the following:
(of a substance) made by chemical synthesis, especially to imitate a natural product. “synthetic rubber”
You either didn’t look up the term before speaking, or you’re both morons. My twins are not synthetic. They are made of the same cells you are- if not better. They don’t imitate any natural product. They are a natural product. Trust me-when they poop, it’s real. Maybe I should send you some so you can see the error in your ways. Some of us cannot have children naturally. Some of us need a helping hand to bypass certain obstacles, and whatever those may be, I don’t think it’s any of your concern. I think you skipped science class that day, or you were busy fiddling your fingers thinking about leather snake shoes, but let’s smarten up already.
My twins are nothing short of a miracle. I yearned for those two human beings more than I have ever yearned for anything in my life. I cried, screamed and dealt with demons through the IVF process that I credit for making me one of the strongest individuals around. When we were blessed and had these two little babies, not once did it ever cross my mind that they were any different than my other two children; because they aren’t.
As far as your “act of love” comment…
Oh Dolce- (or should I call you “Bitter” because you have not one grain of sweetness in you), my twins were made with more love than you could ever imagine. That love is natural. That love is what makes us parents. It makes no difference if a family consists of parents of the same or different genders. I teach my children daily to do things with love. I do my damnedest to teach my children to be accepting of human beings like you. Humans that can not see past the physical aspects of things.
I did you the favor of looking up the word family in the dictionary. It read this:
noun: family; plural noun: families
a group consisting of parents and children living together in a household.
I hope my twins never consider themselves synthetic or think that they came from parents that didn’t “love”each other in order to have them. I hope they become compassionate individuals who can understand why you say what you say, but are strong enough to realize that your lack of intelligence is pitiful. I hope that one day you realize that you’ve hurt a long line of people that only wanted a family of their own. You have lost me forever for reasons other than fashion-which is sad to say the least.
One Very Hurt IVF Mom