Photo courtesy: James Demaria Photography

Photo courtesy: James Demaria Photography

Life Lessons:

Kahshanna Evans


*Are you happy at the moment?

Beyond happy which can be fleeting, I feel peaceful, clear and inspired these days – three things I work towards having in my life consistently. I find happiness is the proof sought by many in hopes to do Soul-work from the outside in. After studying wellness in varied modalities for a decade I have come to trust the quiet elements that make life worth living. Long term friendships that build rather than destroy are worth their weight in gold and contribute to my sense of happiness but the peace they offer and the feeling of inspiration is something I can’t quite put my finger on but it seems to surpass happy.

*If you could go back and say anything to your 16-year-old self now – what would it be?

I love this question for so many reasons but the main reason is that I revisit this question and the answers keep getting better. I would help myself understand strengths that others may have criticized, ridiculed or punished me for. I would help myself understand worth by sharing that life is complex but so worth living. I would tell myself to surround myself with artists, makers, authors and people who are motivated, self governed, highly successful who enjoyed being around people interested in learning how to be better – while some successful types enjoy sharing knowledge and experience others prefer to collect fans and rather enjoy areas where they may feel stuck which further inflates ego. I would tell myself that I am a healer, an intuitive, an empath and it takes on many meanings and forms. I would tell myself to enjoy the duality of who I am and that I am allowed to be all of who I am – the fire breathing dragon, the healing heart, the artist, the counter-culture geek girl, the Soul warrior. I would give myself the following books and tell myself to keep them close: The Alchemist, Shaman, Healer, Sage, Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome.

*What’s the most important thing you’ve learned this year?

The most important thing this year is how good it feels to build a life that supports happiness, creativity and the ability to thrive. I’ve learned it’s immediately apparent when you meet your humans, others who share a similar purpose or mission and feels like the Universe is saying ‘yes’ with you and in support of you. I’ve learned that resources, whether we forget them or not, are here for us – they become more apparent when we change the way we think and look at life. Quiet and silence are truly golden, this can help nurture us and offer new perspective on the importance of peace and tranquility. Life doesn’t have rules that hold us down, I think, when we aren’t focused, we can be the one’s in our own way. To the contrary, it feels really good to recognize this and allow support to come in from That Which is Greater Than Ourselves.

*What do you most want to achieve in the next 12 months?

In 2015 I’d like to continue to expand Kissing Lions Public Relations, my boutique media hub, but after spending so much time focused on my career, I am interested in being in nature more. I would like to travel more for learning opportunities such as conferences and conventions but Soul traveling is also something that is important. I would like to plan actual getaways, retreats and trips with my friends.

*What’s your secret to happiness?

My secret to happiness is not to squeeze the life out of it by pretending and trying to make happy do what we want it to do. Beyond happiness, each one of us has a story in their own heart. By doing our own Soul-work, we can become happy about who we are, how far we’ve come and what we’ve accomplished. The secret to happiness is being curious about my sub-conscious world and embracing alchemy. After studying wellness for so long I learned to listen to my dreams while I am sleeping and awake and connect my heart and mind with the way I move through life. These have been reliable life-changing resources.

*What one ritual or practice keeps you grounded?

Drum journeys in the shamanic tradition have been incredibly grounding. The intention sets the tone while rhythm of the drum allows the body, mentally, physically, and spiritually to get in a meditative space. Most often we are retrieving a question or connecting with an ally to support us as we do our Soul-work. This has been heart opening for me – tears that escape me may finally surface and usually, with them, relief because it puts me in touch with my heart and a sense of deep compassion.

*What’s your biggest regret?

My biggest regret is not being ready enough for opportunities I got in my 20’s. It’s fun to be young, free, sassy and opinionated, but without experience we can’t understand what a lost opportunity is right away. I also regret believing the opinion of others about my own identity that made me feel like I was not good enough or pretty enough or cool enough. The power in regrets, however, is to process them, take the wisdom, roll that into the next dream and stay inspired.

*What’s the most important lesson you’ve taught your kid(s)?

I’m excited to have my own kids one day. I think love and friendship being at the core of a relationship with kids, if and when possible, is important. That’s not to say the child tyrant can storm through the market like Hurricane Irene, but when parents become so stressed that even with well meaning boundaries and discipline the child can’t tell if they are even liked, that is worrisome. I hope to teach my kids this world is their world, it’s our world and they can do anything.

*What bad habit would you most like to change about yourself?

I would like to trust myself when I draw boundaries in all areas of my life rather than doubt because there’s this little nagging voice that says, ‘well, maybe it’s not so bad when you are treated that way’ and, really, it is. I would like to be guilt-free when I make a choice about how I need to be treated instead of feeling guilty for asking for respect, consideration or compassion. Rather than be inactive when something emotionally heavy seems to be nagging me that I can’t quite make out, I’d like to reach for my resources much quicker than I have been. Eclipsing out waiting when I need support is something I am excited about.

*Aside from motherhood/fatherhood and marriage what are you most proud of in your life?

I am the most proud of being someone who didn’t understand where I fit in the world and ended up fitting in so many places. I have traveled to so many places I never dreamed I would like Greece, Spain, South Africa, France the UK and so many of the islands and states. Unsure of how to make or earn a living I stumbled to New York, ran for cover, then returned to have a career in fashion, film and television. Wellness and transformational interpersonal work really was a life saver for me and I light up each time I realize how much I’ve learned.

*When were you happiest?

It is hard to choose one time but I believe I have been the happiest when I learned about my intuitive gifts. The world comes alive and, without words, other intuitives can give you information or speak without words. This gave me the feeling of being so connected to That Which is Greater Than Myself within a loving space that was more circular time than linear.

*What ten words best describe you?

Driven, savvy, creative, determined, intuitive, soulful, outrageous, warrior, moonstruck and zealous.

Years of experience in the entertainment, fashion, film and tv world as on-camera talent combined with a decade of exploring energy healing traditions helped me sink my narrative, branding and media chops into my boutique media hub Kissing Lions Public Relations. I am also the proud author of a screenplay about the resilience of of the human spirit entitled Amani and have been published as an author in My Angel Diary 2014 (Hay House UK, short story), OM Times (poem), MeetMindful, NYC Pulse and Complete Balance.  LinkedIn | Twitter | Pinterest