Is My Daughter Becoming A “Mean Girl”?
We recently held a slumber party at our house for our 13-year-old daughter Stacey and four of her friends.
For most of the night I left the girls to their own devices but I must admit to eavesdropping for part of the evening and I was shocked by what I heard.
Stacey and her friends were being really mean about a girl in their class who has a learning difficulty, calling her the R word and a waste of space. They bitched that another girl was a ‘lezzer’ because she hasn’t got a boyfriend. And they said another girl was ‘too ugly to live’.
I really didn’t like what I heard but I also know that times have changed since I was a teenager. Is this just how girls talk nowadays – and does it really mean anything? Should I be worried that my daughter is becoming a Mean Girl?
Concerned in Connecticut
While I’m not an advocate for eavesdropping or snooping on our kids, in this case I would be hard pressed to say it was not warranted. Wow, such venom and nastiness and I know it must have hurt you to hear that since you didn’t raise your daughter to be that way. We all remember what it was like as a teenager, how fitting in was the most important thing. That includes, sometimes going along to get along or falling in with the crowd and what they are doing or saying. This is a prime opportunity to teach Stacey how to be independent. Here’s what I would suggest.