Ask Rene:
Will My Facebook Relationship
Mean The End Of My Marriage?
I’m married to a really great guy. We’ve been together for 19 years and married for 15. We have two kids, 13 and 12. Even though my husband is wonderful, our marriage hasn’t been solid for years now. We’ve been to counseling twice, but with no real success. We’re growing apart and are staying together for the sake of the kids.
Last summer I reconnected with an old friend from junior high and high school on Facebook. He is also married and lives on the West Coast (I live in the Midwest.) We talk quite a bit on Messenger and sometimes through text messages. We have acknowledged our less-than-ideal marriages to each other. We both tell each other personal things that we should really tell our spouses. For me, these are things I would tell my husband, but he’s not that interested in listening anymore.My friend and I are not planning on talking on the phone, seeing each other, or leaving our spouses. We just vibe really well and provide something to each other that we’re not getting at home. On one hand, I feel happy about it. I look forward to talking to my friend and it’s one of the highlights of my life right now. On the other hand, it feels like I’m cheating on my husband, even though I’m okay with my arrangement. Is it time to end my marriage? 
Last summer I reconnected with an old friend from junior high and high school on Facebook. He is also married and lives on the West Coast (I live in the Midwest.) We talk quite a bit on Messenger and sometimes through text messages. We have acknowledged our less-than-ideal marriages to each other. We both tell each other personal things that we should really tell our spouses. For me, these are things I would tell my husband, but he’s not that interested in listening anymore.My friend and I are not planning on talking on the phone, seeing each other, or leaving our spouses. We just vibe really well and provide something to each other that we’re not getting at home. On one hand, I feel happy about it. I look forward to talking to my friend and it’s one of the highlights of my life right now. On the other hand, it feels like I’m cheating on my husband, even though I’m okay with my arrangement. Is it time to end my marriage?
Signed:
Harmless Flirting in Flint
YIKES!
Girl you’re holding dynamite in one and and a lit match in the other! Back away slowly.. but surely.
Look, I hear ya’, marriage is hard; some years are better than others and there are some decidedly un-sexy parts of it. But before you jump from one relationship to another, you have some decisions to make.
So here’s what I would do if I were you.
1. Get A Grip!
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He's a nice guy. He listens to me. Yeah.. I know. These things always have an innocent and innocuous start but before you know it you're sliding down the rabbit hole like a 3-ton vehicle on solid ice. So it's time for a reality check; do you think sharing your troubles with another person is helping make that situation better? Of course it's not. So the first thing you need to do is admit that. Though not physical, you are cheating; you are cheating your mate and yourself, out of a well-rounded relationship.
"But Rene, I share with my girlfriends too!" Um, not even close to the same thing. Surely you see the difference.
Related: Ask Rene: My Husband Doesn't Want Me To Reclaim My Maiden Name
