two angry women

Ask Rene:
I Caught My Son’s Friend Stealing From My Purse! Now What?


Hi Rene,

I’m having a big argument with my best friend at the moment – and would love your help.

Andrea and I have been friends for 20 years and grew up together (we’re now in our late thirties). We both have children around the same age – my son Andrew, 9 and her son Robert, 10.

Recently I caught Robert stealing money from my purse while he was playing at our house. I was very angry with him, told his mother, and have forbidden Andrew from playing with his friend for the time being.

Andrea thinks I over-reacted and said she’d caught my son doing lots of naughty things that she never told me about. She didn’t go into detail but I feel she’s being petty and just trying to deflect blame from her own son’s bad behavior.

What do you think Rene? Am I right – or does my best friend have a point? And how can we resolve this when everyone is feeling so sore.


Bella, Indiana


Dear Bella:

WARNING, WARNING, WARNING! Unless you want to see your friendship of two decades implode in spectacular fashion, I would proceed with caution from here on out. It does not matter that Andrea posted bail money for you when you were arrested in Times Square with your underwear on your head and your bra on your bum; it does not matter that you celebrated the discovery of new men with magnums of Champagne or drowned the sorrows of lost employment in bottle after bottle of wine. The fact is – this is her child and she will side with him until presented with irrefutable proof that he is a budding kleptomaniac. The question at this point is how to proceed. There’s already a bit of stink in the water with her throwing that ugly bomb out there about your child so here’s what I would recommend…


1. Don't Bring Up This Issue About Her Son Again

Image 1 of 3

Okay, it’s unfair that Robert took your money and while it really would mess with my sense of what is right and what is wrong, you will not win this battle. As I alluded to before, Andrea will side with the child that sprang forth from her womb over you so you’re going to have to let this go. Don’t bring it up to rehash it; don’t apologize for what has already transpired, especially if that will lead to you wanting to “explain” how it made you feel. Let it go.