I Really Think My Daughter Is Anorexic
I have a difficult question to ask you mother to mother…
I’ve had a strained relationship with my daughter Anna ever since her father and I divorced 10 years ago and whenever we meet I feel as though I’m treading on eggshells.
Anna lives in New York and works in PR. We met up last month and for the first time in years had a really good time together. But while I was borrowing her computer at her apartment I found several pro-Ana websites in her search history.
Anna has always been skinny but I’ve always blamed it on her long works hours and lifestyle (she’s always out at parties and clubs). Now though I’m wondering if there’s more going on… I want to raise the issue with my daughter but don’t want to rock the boat. So what do I do Rene… I’d love your advice.
Unfortunately, I’m afraid there are no easy answers in this situation but if this indeed anorexia, it could be a matter of life and death. You have two choices; to stay silent and continue on with your strained (though improving) relationship with your daughter, or speak up and potentially save her life. If this were my own daughter, I would absolutely confront her with what I found. Here’s what I suggest:
1. Enlist The Help Of Friends
Your daughter is older and out on her own so you might not know a lot of her friends. But if you know any of them, even as casual acquaintances, I would talk to them. You need to get their honest assessment of what’s going on. Have they ever seen your daughter eat? What does she eat? How much? You can tell them of your own concerns as well. It may be that they too, were worried, but just didn’t know how to proceed.