Ask Rene: Help!
I Think I’ve Picked Another Abusive Guy
So I have been dating this guy for several months. He is the first person I have been in a relationship with since my crazy abusive ex-boyfriend almost four years ago. The psychological and physical damage caused by my ex has nearly ruined my life. Anyway, this new guy accepted me for who I was, fear and scars and all, and seemed perfect. However, I went over to his house a few nights ago and he pressured me into having sex with him. I told him NO, pushed his hands away, but he kept pushing and pushing, and I started crying. He let it go for awhile, and I thought that was the end of it. I ended up spending the night with him, and I woke up to him on top of me. I don’t really know what happened, but I have absolutely no idea what to do.
Hurt and Confused in Chicago
Dear Hurt and Confused:
I say this all time time but cannot emphasize it enough, especially in situations like this one. I am not a therapist but I am a mother with an opinion and I have more than one about your situation. I hope you will listen to what I have to say because I think you need to do some stuff and fast. Okay so here’s what I would do if I were you.
1. Understand You Deserve Better
You don’t say how old you are but I get the feeling, for whatever reason, that you might be young, perhaps in your 20’s. There’s one thing you need to know before I go on and that is that you deserve better. You have a right to be on this planet and what you say (including NO) matters. People need to respect that, including boyfriends.