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Ask Rene: Help! I Think I’ve Picked Another Abusive Guy



Ask Rene: Help!
I Think I’ve Picked Another Abusive Guy


Hi Rene:

So I have been dating this guy for several months. He is the first person I have been in a relationship with since my crazy abusive ex-boyfriend almost four years ago. The psychological and physical damage caused by my ex has nearly ruined my life. Anyway, this new guy accepted me for who I was, fear and scars and all, and seemed perfect. However, I went over to his house a few nights ago and he pressured me into having sex with him. I told him NO, pushed his hands away, but he kept pushing and pushing, and I started crying. He let it go for awhile, and I thought that was the end of it. I ended up spending the night with him, and I woke up to him on top of me. I don’t really know what happened, but I have absolutely no idea what to do.

Hurt and Confused in Chicago



Dear Hurt and Confused:

I say this all time time but cannot emphasize it enough, especially in situations like this one. I am not a therapist but I am a mother with an opinion and I have more than one about your situation. I hope you will listen to what I have to say because I think you need to do some stuff and fast. Okay so here’s what I would do if I were you.


1. Understand You Deserve Better

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You don’t say how old you are but I get the feeling, for whatever reason, that you might be young, perhaps in your 20’s. There’s one thing you need to know before I go on and that is that you deserve better. You have a right to be on this planet and what you say (including NO) matters. People need to respect that, including boyfriends.

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Combing the aisles at Target in search of the best deal on Cheerios, it hit Rene Syler like the stench of a dirty diaper on a hot summer’s day. Not only is perfection overrated its utterly impossible! Suddenly empowered, she figuratively donned her cape, scooped up another taco kit for dinner and Good Enough Mother was born.

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