damaged heart on old paper

Ask Rene:
Is My Ex REALLY Over Me? 


Hello Rene:

I’m 18-years-old and pregnant with my first child. I’m am currently not with my child’s father as he says he doesn’t want to be with me anymore. I’m not sure this is true because we’ve been together for practically 3 years and though we have been arguing a lot after he asked me to get an abortion, I think he just needs space because he is angry I would not abort the baby.

We broke up a month ago and he’s already talking to someone else; he even admitted that she is a rebound! Rene,  I just want to know if he will come back. Our relationship was pretty good other than a couple arguments here and there. But once the baby came in the picture it’s like he wanted me gone. He told me we would still be together if I had gotten the abortion but I’m not going to get one.

I talked to him last night and he told me he can guarantee he’s not coming back but I don’t know if that’s true or not. He really loved me and he told me he still does and that he still cares for me, but just doesn’t want to be with me.

Does he need space or is this it? I need some advice because if this is it I plan on moving to another state to finish getting my degree to become a nurse in an enviornment that’s better for both baby & me.


Pregnant Pause 


Dear PP:

I’m glad you wrote me and I’m going to give you my honest assessment of the situation. But you know what I think? I think, deep down, you already know the answer.

Nevertheless, here’s what I would do if I were you.


1. Take A HARD Look At Your Relationship

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You said, "Our relationship was pretty good other than a couple arguments here and there. But once the baby came in the picture it's like he wanted me gone." Are you sure your relationship was all that? You're 18 now and have been with him for 3 years; assuming he is around the same age, that would mean you guys got together around 15. Now I'm not going to be one of those adults who says you have no idea what you're doing at that age, but I will say your life (and relationship) experience is limited. At 15 you haven't had to deal with a lot of the things that truly test a bond. Now you have the first major challenge and your boyfriend jumps ship then slides into a rebound relationship. That's not the definition of a healthy relationship.