Ask Rene: How Do I Get Them To Stop Talking About My WEIGHT?

Ask Rene:
How Do I Get Them To Stop
Talking About My WEIGHT?

Hi Rene: 

Ever since I was little, I have been overweight. My family and relatives have always judged me and my sister since we are both overweight. When my mother invites her friends over, they would talk and say stuff like, “Julia (me) is so big”; they would act like they were referring to my height (5’6″) but I know they are talking about my weight. I’m 13-years-old and everyone says I have a body like a grown-up and such things. 

I don’t know whether to take offense or to just brush it off. Do you ave any tips? 

Thanks if you do.

Signed: Just Julia In Jacksonville

Dear Julia:

Oh honey.. I’m not sure this will mean anything to you since I am a total stranger, but I need to tell you that you are beautiful. No matter your weight, skin color, hair texture.. whatever! How can I say that, not knowing you? Because you are; we all are. You are your own person, unique in your own way and that in and of itself is absolutely stunning. I need you to believe that, okay? Alright, now that we have established that, in terms of handling your family,  here’s what I would do if I were you.

1. Understand Where This Comes From

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Julia, I'm a mom so I can say this with a fair amount of certainty; we worry.. A LOT! We worry about the world, your grades, the cost of college, our retirement, the energy bill and of course, our kids. I'm almost 100% certain that the comments your mother is making are borne of her care and concern. The thing is.. I do think there is a better way for her to get that across, which leads me to my next point...