Photo Credit: Creative Commons/leah-tautkute


Ask Rene:
I Want To Settle Down With My Boyfriend
His Dog!


Hello Rene,

My question is a funny one as it’s not about kids or parenting – but I hope you can help!

My boyfriend Jake and I have been together for 4 years, live together and are close to settling down, getting married and doing the whole family thing! About a year ago we adopted a rescue dog called Charlie, a Dalmatian, who’s about 3 years old and just adorable!

However as lovely as Charlie is he’s completely out of control. He drinks water from the toilet bowl, sometimes pees in our house, steals food from our plates and runs wild when we try and take him out.

I’ve been trying to train him but Jake is completely uninterested and uninvested in helping me discipline our dog. He loves Charlie – he just can’t see to be bothered.

I know it sounds silly – but I’m starting to wonder if this is the man I want to settle down and have kids with. If he can’t take the time for a dog – what will he be like with children? To be honest Jake also doesn’t really help much around the house either, and I deal with all the bills and do all the cooking and cleaning (even though we both work full time jobs)

Do you think I’m being too sensitive? Or do you see problems ahead?

Help Rene!

Keisha, Miami



Dear Keisha:

Uh, honey, what exactly DOES Jake do around the house? Because right now it sounds like a whole lotta nuthin’.

You sound like a pretty smart cookie and your instincts are right on target. If Jake cannot lift a finger to pick up a poop off the floor, you can be all but certain any kids that you have will be your and yours alone to raise. That will include the biggest kid of all, Jake. But you need to decide how much you love him and are willing to overlook or how committed you are to changing your living conditions. Notice I did not say Jake because he’s a full-grown man and that will be nothing but an exercise in futility. But you can make him understand what is expected of him as a member or your household.

1. Jake Is Living The Dream

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Who knew a dog would end up playing the role or relationship counselor but that’s what’s happening; Charlie’s adoption is opening up a window of opportunity and you have to seize it now or be sorry the rest of your life. Let’s give Jake the benefit of the doubt and assume he does not know what it means to live with another person. Jake actually is living the dream; he’s got a woman who cooks, clean, picks up after him (and the dog) and has sex with him in exchange for what he does, which as I said before doesn’t sound like a whole lot.