Ask Rene: Is A Text Appropriate In THIS Situation?

Ask Rene:
Is A Text Appropriate In THIS Situation?

Hi Rene:

My father passed away a month ago. I received many thoughtful notes and phone calls, but one communication really stands out for me negatively. The daughter of a family friend sent her condolence through a text. Her exact words were: “I heard abt ur dad. So sorry.” I’m so annoyed! Is it now okay to send condolences by text message? I should note that I’m 36—not that old, but old enough to know better.

Miffed in Mourning

Hi MiM:

First let me say I’m sorry to hear about your father. Knowing death is a part of life doesn’t make it less painful when we experience it. Now on to your question; this is an interesting dilemma, one brought about by changing times and technology. Should you be offended? Perhaps..

So here’s what I’m thinking.

1. Something Is Better Than Nothing

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I know you are hurting and more than anything, people in that state just want to know that they are not alone; that someone is thinking of them. In a ham-handed sort of way that’s what this young lady was doing. The problem is the effort looked and felt minimal because it was. And that along with the texting vernacular is enough to leave a bad taste in your mouth.