Paper umbrellas

Ask Rene:
Is Three A Crowd On Vacation?

Hi Rene,

Please help – I really need your advice on a tricky issue!

I love my wife, Anna, very much but I have to be honest – I can’t stand her best friend Mira. She’s selfish, bitchy and always trying to stir up trouble – sometimes even in our relationship. But Anna always gives her the benefit of the doubt and says ‘that’s just the way she is.’ I find myself making excuses to get out of the house whenever Mira comes over.

Anyway, Mira has just broken up with her partner – and my wife has taken pity on her and invited her to join us for our upcoming vacation. It wasn’t that we had a big holiday planned – just a few days away by the beach – but we don’t get much time together as we both work such long hours and I simply don’t want to spend time with a person I dislike.

I’ve asked my wife to dis-invite Mira but she says she can’t – so I said I didn’t want to go away anymore, which led to a big argument between us. Anna says I’m being selfish. Am I? What would you do, Rene . . .


Mike, Idaho


Dear Mike:

Thanks for writing in. This is actually an easy one for Good Enough Mother and the answer can be summed up in one word.




This is not going to happen and here’s why. Vacation is a time to relax.. what do most people want? Good food, good conversation and good sex and not necessarily in that order. If Mira comes along there is a very good chance you will only get one of the three.

1. The Real Deal About Vacation

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Vacations, be they three weeks or three days, should be relaxing, a time for you to really let your hair down. A third person in the mix changes the dynamic, preventing the real, soul-baring conversation you and Anna don’t get a chance to have when you’re home because of your hectic lives. Add to that your personal distaste for Mira and the only thing you will be assured of at the end of vacation is a bill and a baby ulcer.