Hiding a golden ring

The GEM Debate: 
Is Infidelity Okay In THIS Case?


Ever heard of Ashley Madison? For the last several months I have been getting emails from her.

Well, as it turns out, Ashley Madison is not a her but an it; a website that specializes in arranging “hook-ups” (familiar with that term? if not, ask someone under 25) between married people.

Side note: I did NOT subscribe to their mailing list their emails came to me unsolicited because I have a public email address. But I digress.

Ashley Madison is making headlines again.

A professor from the University of Winchester in England, took a look at the data of 100 women between 34 and 45 and came up with an rather interesting picture.

The women it seems, weren’t looking to break up their marriages rather they just wanted, well, sex.

More specifically they were asking for romantic passion but wanted it while keeping their marriages intact.

Related: What’s Love Got To Do With It? 19 Lessons In 19 Years Of Marriage 

I remember years ago, a friend of mine was having an affair. She looked different, she was happy and fulfilled.

I was mortified.

How could she do that? Cheat on her husband? Her kids?

She was one of those women the Ashley Madison data is talking about.

She was a married for years, owned a business with her husband but was not fulfilled.. and the sex was only part of it. There was a basic appreciation that was missing from their relationship and it was a void that was filled by an affair.

Those of you who follow me and the site, know I have been married a long time. A long, long time; 20 years to be exact and I have written openly and honestly about our struggles. I’m sure I’m not the only married person who wondered if my husband and I would make it. For a long time, it was touch and go.

But together we are a team and we have built a life and family together.

Related: Good Enough Mother Moment: I Really, REALLY Like My Kids!

But as I’ve gotten older, I see the world as a lot less black and white. Maybe this works for some marriages. Maybe some people, married or not, need sex with no strings to feel appreciated.

It’s not necessarily for me.. but who am I to judge?

So what do you think? Is infidelity okay in this case? Is it ever?

Take the poll and leave a comment!

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