Ask The Good Enough Guy:
My Husband Is Procrastinating With
Our Moving Plans. Now What?
Hi Good Enough Guy:
My husband and I want to move back to our home state of Georgia from Chicago. We have family there and we want our children to be around them. I’m a teacher, so it wouldn’t be hard for me to find a job. However, my husband’s job is very specific and there wouldn’t be opportunities in his field. He would have to do a major career shift, maybe even go back to school. He’s been at his job for 20 years and he enjoys it, so I understand it’s hard to think about doing something else. We’ve been talking about moving for three years. By now he could have picked up a new skill! I feel like his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be. How can I encourage him to take a step forward?
Let’s see… Hmmmm.
You know what keeps jumping out at me from you letter? How often you speak as “we.”
“My husband and I”… “we have family there”… “we want our children”… “we’ve been talking”… “his inaction is keeping us where we don’t want to be.” As my dad used to say; “Unless you have a mouse in your pocket, you are not a ‘we.’” Remember: you asked me, so here’s what I think:
2. Kids Are Temporary
Moms hate to face this. Let’s say your kids are seven and eight. Well, I’ve got a painful news flash for you: you’ve got about ten years before they fly the coop. Truth be told, in less than that, they won’t want to be around their hometown family, or you, in front of their friends anyway (trust me on this one)… where as your hubby has already been on his job for TWICE that long, and probably wouldn’t mind doing 20 or even 30 years more. Check the math on that, but it’s not looking good for the move.