teenage girl with unhappy mother in the background

Ask Rene:

I’ve Had It With My Daughter’s Boyfriend


Hello Rene,

Thanks so much for starting up the site – it’s great to have a mom out there who gets it!

So my question involves my daughter. Hayley is 14 and has started seeing a boy who’s 2 years older than her called Ron. Ron has a smart mouth on him and does a lot of things that I don’t approve of. I’ve seen him smoking, messing around with other girls and sometimes playing hooky from school.

Everything about Ron is bad news – and of course I’m really worried about my daughter. But Hayley thinks he can do no wrong and if I bring up his name we always end up yelling and screaming at each other.

So what do I do? What would you do?

Carrie, St Louis


Oh, Carrie:

I feel for you. I really do and think you have genuine cause for concern.

There are two paths you can take here that could result with two drastically different outcomes.


1. Go Over Plan A

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You can forbid Hayley to see Ron. 14 is a bit young to have a steady boyfriend and while two years age difference is relatively minor among adults, it’s a HUGE difference among adolescents. At 16 Ron can drive, is two years from being emancipated and may have drastically different interests than his girlfriend who is just entering her teens. We are fond of telling it like it is here at goodenoughmother.com and one of the things you must know is that in the forefront of most 16 year old boys (and some girls) minds is S-E-X! Hayley also needs to know that and understand the implications.