Ask Rene:
What Should I Say To My Daughter
When She Asks Me THIS?
Hi Rene:
My 8-year-old daughter is going through a phase where she asks me several times a day if I think she’s pretty. Of course, I think she is and I say so, but I’m starting to feel uncomfortable with it because I don’t like all this emphasis on looks. She has many qualities that I like to talk about. Should I keep telling her that she’s pretty or should I dodge the question?
Signed:
Unsure in Utica
Hi UIU:
I’m not all that surprised to hear that you’re getting questions like this from your daughter , even at age 8. We live in a youth and beauty obsessed society. The good news is I think you have a real shot at changing her perception. So here’s what I would do in your circumstance:
2. Show Her Different Examples of Beauty
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Quick story: when I was a reporter in Birmmingham, Alabama early in my career, I was out covering a fire. A young, white teenage boy came up to me and said, "You are the prettiest colored lady I have ever seen." Without hurting his feelings I explained that there was not a different standard of beauty for various groups; people were eitther pretty or they were not. Maybe you can show your daughter that beatuy comes in alll shapes, sizes and colors. Check out websites, magazines and just people watch for ideas and examples.
