RIP on graveAsk Rene:
Drama After Death.. Should I Get Involved? 

Hi Rene,
My 81-year-old aunt just passed away a couple of days ago. I called her daughter–my cousin-to find out how I could help with the funeral arrangements. My cousin told me that the family is having a Christian service. This is surprising because, for the last 30 years of her life, my aunt practiced Buddhism. She always made it clear that whenever she died, she did not want a Christian funeral. She wanted a memorial service that followed the traditions of her religion. Although my cousin agreed at the time, she’s totally going against her mother’s wishes. I’m pretty disgusted with her right now. I’m not sure I should get involved with helping to plan the funeral knowing full well my aunt would not approve. What would you do in this situation?
Signed: 
Torn in Tacoma

Dear Torn:
Wow. Just wow. What the heck is going on here? Okay, here’s what I’m thinking and what I would do if I were in your place.

2. Have A Chat With Your Cousin

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While we'd like to think this is unusual, you can believe it is not; how many stories have we heard about death bringing out the worst in people? Whether over property or procedure, people seem to pull on ugly with that black suit.

Again, I'm not sure how much you'll get from your cousin but it might be worth having a chat with her. What's going on with her that she feels like she has to have the last word, imposing her wishes on someone who cannot protest? I don't get it. I also can't help but feel she will have major regret about her behavior down the line.

 

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