Tales From A Twin Mom:
Whose Job Is It To Cook And Clean Around Here?
My husband is an unbelievable cook and enjoys cooking. He doesn’t just cook once a week- he cooks every day. He comes home, changes from his suit to shorts and cooks away. It’s a wonderful thing because if my children relied on my cooking they would starve. I have a bad habit of burning everything, from toast to soup (don’t even ask). I have never thought twice about the fact that it’s not a common thing until he started to post pictures of his amazing meals on Facebook. What did people say? You guessed it.
Julixa is so lucky!
Don’t get me wrong I know how lucky I am to have a husband that splits the work load with me but a part of me cringed. Why does everyone assume that a woman is lucky if she finds a man who cooks and why don’t you ever hear the same when women post a picture of their latest dish? Are we still wired to think that men can’t play a more important part when it comes to housework? Heaven forbid I tell these people that he also does the laundry! We live in a household where the responsibilities are shared because we are equal. I work as much as he does. Did I do more before I started running my own business? No. Even as a stay at home mother my husband was well aware of the fact that I did a lot. He knew what being a stay at home mother entailed and not once did he ask me what I did all day. There was and is a certain respect. A mutual respect that I hope one day will be displayed in more homes.
For Mother’s Day, my twins came home with cards that they made in school. It was an amazing card except for one thing- one of the fill in the blank sentences was “My mother cooks the best ________.” The teacher thought one of my girls was being difficult until she walked over to the other who had no idea what to put in the blank! The teacher later explained to me that she filled in the blanks herself because they were clearly dumbfounded. They both told her that Daddies cook. Mommies don’t. She laughed as she said this. I didn’t. After walking away I couldn’t help but feel a little saddened. Not about the fact that I didn’t know how to cook- heaven knows I’ve tried it enough times my neighbors were paying me to not set off the fire alarm-but because the other children in the class didn’t know any better. What was worse was that the teacher didn’t have more creative fill in the blank sentences! I want my children to learn to cook. I want them to be able to prepare themselves wonderful dishes but I want them to know that if they don’t like it – or aren’t good at it, that there are partners in this world that do and enjoy it. Nothing should be limited to a man or woman.
My girls have seen me patch walls, replace the garbage disposal and even remove a toilet because they jammed a smoothie container down there. I don’t think twice about it. I don’t sit here and wait for my husband to come and fix it. I don’t do that because I am perfectly capable of doing it myself. As they sit around and watch me they don’t ask me why Daddy doesn’t do it. That’s considered the “norm” here. I just hope and pray that when they grow up and are ready to settle down, the partners that they pick know better than to think they are made to do certain tasks.
I recently read that stay at home dads were on the rise and to them I say, “Good for You!” Let’s get past the stupid stereotyping. As couples, let’s help each other and accept that we are teams. Don’t enjoy the doing the laundry? Flip a coin but for heavens sake don’t assume that it’s women’s work. Some of us might not be able to make a grilled cheese sandwich but we can close a deal faster than you can say “Where is the fire extinguisher?”
What about you? Do your relationships fall along gender lines? What do your kids say?