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Our Story Begins:
“Fat Girl” Strikes a Nerve (VIDEO)

I’m going to ask you to take a look at something that is simultaneously uncomfortable and brutally honest at the same time.

This last week, the comedian Louie CK aired an episode of his show titled “So Did the Fat Lady.” I wasn’t going to comment on the episode before now; I am, after all, a guy who has only dipped his toe into the dating world. I can’t pretend to understand the trials and tribulations of the people who have been single a long time.

But the reason I decided to chime in is because of the message the episode sent.

Forbes magazine called this episode, “the year’s most brutally honest 7 minutes of television.” I would agree and it’s brutal because it’s a truth that so many people just wanted to tiptoe around and never totally address. So leave it to the comedian with knack for showing his own discomfort to make you think about it.

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The segment is a conversation. That’s it. Words. But we all know that words can be heavy, a weight of their own toiling on your shoulders. Louie does just that and you should all watch this because – for the character he’s written and the actress channeling her – this is honesty the likes of which most people don’t often see.

This particular monologue struck me because I was married to a woman like this. No. I’ll be honest, she wasn’t “fat” when we dated. My late wife, Andrea, passed away in 2011 and her weight was a problem. Not just a problem for her self-esteem, which it was a major issue there. For years in her struggle with weight, particularly after having two children . . . then twin boys (whom she carried for all 9 months). . . she had a rough time. She got sick during the last year of her life and then gained a significant amount of weight.

My wife was ashamed of how she looked, even though she had nothing to be ashamed of.  She had a glorious smile, an amazing sense of humor and a personality that had me wrapped around her little finger. Being married to Andrea was filled with difficult and ridiculously hard times but none of those were because of her weight. She was beautiful.


Still…there were millions of moments I wish we had captured for the kids to remember and we simply don’t have them. She worried what people around us thought about her. She refused to allow us to take pictures because she didn’t want to see herself nor did she want others to see her. She scratched up negatives. She tore up photos. She saw people looking at her and assumed they were judging her. Maybe they were.

So when Louie CK wrote this brilliant, uncomfortable, insightful monologue I wondered about what it was saying. I wondered what it said about me, now single, and the people I might or might not give a chance. What women do I, as a single man, look at and what women do I ignore. It’s embarrassing when you realize you’re falling into the very categories this monologue decries. It’s hard to put the mirror in front of yourself when you see who the person staring back really is.

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But I also heard defense for the beautiful woman I loved for so many years…who I hope didn’t feel that way when she was around her husband and children. I hope she saw love and not loathing…and I hope more people get the message.

People are an entirety of the package, not the shell of the person. It’s not about the monologue. It’s the discussion that it sparks.

What about you? Do you look at others the same way? Do you see someone who you deem is “fat” and automatically judge them? Give them a chance? Date them? Let’s talk about that…

Dave Manoucheri, Our Story Begins