What Matters Most:
Mom Excuses That Keep You Stuck
We all do it. We’re all guilty of saying horrible things to ourselves. You know the voice or noise that you allow to play over and over saying, things to yourself that you’d NEVER say to someone else.
It’s as if someone set Pandora on the “You’re The Worst Mom” station and it continues playing in the background over and over.
Before your parenting days, you envisioned yourself being a kind and patient mother. You know, the fun mom on the block…but then reality set in.
Somehow that thing your mom said to you many years ago, you know— “I hope you have a child just Like YOU!” has come true and what’s even scarier is that you catch yourself saying things she used to say.
Each morning dragging your tired self out of bed to wake the sleeping darlings once again encouraging them to get dressed – including clean underwear; mom’s of boys know what I’m talking about here.
You continue prodding – hurry up and eat your breakfast, comb your hair, brush your teeth – which brings about the “wild child” declarations like “I HATE school…I don’t want to wear THIS…why do we always have THIS for breakfast…he touched my toast…she looked at me!” …um, yeah… Can you relate?
At times like these I find myself thinking back 20 years ago and wonder WHY on earth did I think that having children would be so wonderful? Surely I thought too highly of myself that I could manage all these little people and be an awesome mom.
Back to the land of mommyhood. You’re knee deep in laundry, thawing out some mystery meat for dinner, checking homework and running kids to and from all their activities. You see so many other moms who you think clearly have it WAY more together than you do. Of course, their kids are delightful. Their homes look like something out of House Beautiful and their van does not have petrified nuggets and fries under the seats. That would be because they don’t regularly serve dinner from the drive thru Dollar Menu. Which then brings you back to that familiar station “You’re The Worst Mom” to play quietly, but oh so painstakingly over and over in your head all day, every day.
You may have just a few biggies that you repeat over and over or perhaps you have a whole boat load of garbage self talk, comparisons and excuses. Not that we’d admit to thinking many of these things…but most of us say some of these things over and over to ourselves…
- My kids are the brattiest kids EVER.
- I’m not pretty like she is. She probably wakes up looking like that.
- If I was a better Mom my kids would never sass me.
- I am so stupid. Why did I say that?
- I’m so fat, frumpy, lumpy…I might as well eat another scone. What does it matter anyway!
- I’m not organized. It’s just not in my nature. No matter how much I clean my house it will never be neat and tidy.
- I cannot cook, bake or toss anything tasty together. My husband and kids hate everything I make.
- I’m so not funny. Why do I try to be funny? I should just sit there and shut up.
- Why am I so boring? No wonder nobody wants to be my friend.
- All this grief, strife and weariness…This is NOT what I signed up for!
- I’m so done. D.O.N.E. I don’t want to be a Mom any more.
- I was raised in a dysfunctional family. What can I expect? I’ll never be anything but a lousy Mom.
- Is there a boarding school that we can afford? Seriously! I’m running these kids!
- I’m so NOT creative. I wish I had scrapbooks of my kids and journals of all their cute sayings. but I can’t even find my camera or pen and paper. (refer back to I’m not organized)
- I’m not cut out to be a Mom. Why did God even give me kids?
- All I ever do is yell, Yell, YELL! No wonder my kids don’t like me.
- None of my clothes fit me. I probably need to get up before the sunrise and exercise for an hour or more every day. (refer back to the I’m so fat, frumpy, lumpy…)
- This is just too hard. I can’t do it. I’ve already tried and failed….miserably.
- Are they 18 years old yet? At what age can I sign them over to the military? Maybe they can whip ’em into shape!
- I don’t have a support system. Nobody will help me. Why would they? I’m a mess, my house is a mess. I just want to run away to a nice warm, quiet place.
- My family would be better off without me.
- I’m such a bad Mom I don’t even know where to start.
It’s time to change the station. Stop the comparisons, garbage self-talk and excuses. God gave you each child for a reason. You are not a mistake and your kids are not a mistake. God says He will give you what you need to parent each child. Yes, it is hard…being a mom is truly THE most difficult job ever.
You know it will take self sacrifice and personal growth on your part…more than you ever imagined. However, if you are willing to do the work, (all the while believing that your children will not forever be bickering, biting, bullying, and bellyaching little people) the benefit of pushing through will be so worth it!
Just know, dear, weary Mom, that you are right where God has called you to be and YOU ARE ENOUGH.
So, what are you waiting for?
Be the amazing Mom you know that God is calling you and equipping you to be!