Sad Woman

Ask Rene:
What Should I Say In THIS Circumstance?


What do you say to a person who has had a miscarriage? My friend just had her third one and I find myself avoiding her because I don’t want to say the wrong thing. I guess I could tell her how sorry I am (and I really am sorry) but that doesn’t feel like enough. And it’s something everybody says. I feel like I owe my friend more than that, but I don’t know what that should be.


Uncomfortable in the Big Easy


Hey Uncomfortable:

Oh dear, I’m so sorry to hear about this. I know you are too; I can feel the compassion in your letter. I have always been a big believer in open, honest communication, even in uncomfortable situations; anything other than that keeps us from making true connections with the people in our lives. So say you’re sorry because it’s clear you really mean it. In addition to that, here are a couple of things I would do:

1. Arm Yourself With Knowledge

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Before you talk to your friend, learn what you can about miscarriage. There are some great resources out there so take advantage of them. I'm not saying you need a medical degree but understanding the physiological aspects will give you a solid starting point.