Don't do it

Ask Rene:
Guilt The Grandma – Is This Fair?

Hi Rene:

Am I being rude?

I’ve been invited to my granddaughter’s seventh birthday party. I have no interest in attending. I work two jobs and by the time this party starts, I will be just finishing my weekend job. I told my son that I won’t be there and he told his wife. Now she’s calling me asking me to come even though I said I don’t want to. I’m 56 years old and I don’t want to do things that I don’t want to do anymore. What’s so wrong with that?

Signed:

Not Going in Greenwich

Dear Not Going:

Oh I see you’re stuck playing no one’s favorite game, Guilt the Grandma. Problem is you don’t want to play, you’ve been sucked into it by some other, very selfish participants. Okay time to put the game pieces away; here’s what I would do if I were you.

Reiterate Your Plans

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First thing I would do is be clear about what it is you want, if even in your own mind. It looks like you are. Then communicate that. Be concise. Stand your ground and don't apologize for how you feel or what you want to do.