Hola and happy Monday everyone! I know many people don’t care for the day; I actually love it because it’s a chance to start all over again.
Even though we have a diverse group here at Good Enough Mother, today’s Monday Morning Motivation is for the women.
How many times have you, no matter how accomplished you are, no matter how right you were, no matter how convinced you were.. have you gone back and second guessed yourself?
How many times have you thought, in that moment when you were finally alone, “What if I was wrong? What if I made an enemy? What if, what if, what if?”
If you’re anything like me, you’ve done it and more than once.
My husband, Buff and I were talking about this the other night. There’s a new book out called The Confidence Code: The Science And Art Of Self-Assurance.. What Women Should Know and it talks about this very subject. The authors Katty Kay and Claire Shipman detail that type of thinking in an effort to unveil why, despite the enormous strides that have been made by women in the workforce, we still lag far behind in things like equal pay.
In this video, Shipman and Kay outline a few of their findings, and one of which is that men just don’t second guess themselves.
I have another idea: men think that way, in part, because they’ve been MARKETED to that way. And you know how we’ve been marketed to:
That’s right. Madison Avenue, in a very large bill of goods, had women believing that we could HAVE it all, could DO it all and have happy kids, a contented mate and still be smiling at the end of the day.
When I started Good Enough Mother nearly a decade ago, being Perfectly Imperfect®, though a part of life, wasn’t widely accepted. I’ll never forget having a man asking me about my then-impending book. “Um, Good Enough Mother? Why wouldn’t you want to be PERFECT?”
He’d bought what Madison Avenue was selling too.
He also underscored the enormity of the task before me.
It was hard in the beginning. There were no employees. No bells and whistles. Just me, writing and making videos in my closet, certain that what was being sold as truth, could not be.
All those years ago I knew that I wanted Good Enough Mother to be a community where women, wives, mothers and others could talk about the realities of parenthood.
Like this #BreakfastFail.
Back then, I felt like one woman with a megaphone in the wilderness; sometimes my message landed on fertile ground, sometimes not. I was an easy target for a lot of people who still didn’t quite get it. And that was okay too.
Then one day something happened; people started coming around. The veneer of the “perfect woman” was being stripped away as advertisers tried to paint a more accurate picture of our day-to-day lives.
What changed? Was it me? Absolutely not!
Madison Avenue changed. The very ones who a few short years ago were intent on having us buy products that would certainly bring out the mythical Superwoman in us all, now know she doesn’t exist.
You know who does? The fatigued one, the one running around, trying to be all things to all people, sometimes forgetting herself and dropping balls along the way. The real one who, for the most part, controls the family spending and doesn’t take kindly to those on the outside telling her what her life COULD be like, if she bought product X.
I’d love to think Good Enough Mother (not me but the movement) with all her warts and wrinkles, had a little something to do with that.
So to Madison Avenue I say this.. we’re done with your faux and fantasy. We’re not buying what you’re selling… unless it includes information on how we can be as good to ourselves as we are to everyone else.
Now, back to your regularly scheduled program!
What about you? Do you sometimes feel Madison Avenue is way out of touch with your life? Real life?