The GEM Debate:
Should Parents Put Their High-Risk Dreams On Hold For Their Kids? (POLL)
Would you attempt to cross the Pacific Ocean with your family—a family that includes a 1-year-old and a 3-year-old? Unthinkable for you, maybe, but that’s exactly what a San Diego couple tried to do. Eric and Charlotte Kaufman recently made headlines after an attempt to sail from Mexico to New Zealand went south about two weeks into the trip.
While aboard their 36-foot boat Rebel Heart, the Kaufmans’ 13-month-old became ill. The Bay Area’s 129th Rescue Wing received a call from the U.S. National Guard about a sick girl aboard the boat located about 900 nautical miles off the coast of Cabo San Lucas, Mexico. Two rescue helicopters joined the rescue mission and after a five-hour flight, a team of four “Guardian Angel” pararescuemen jumped into the open ocean to board the Rebel Heart.
The crew stabilized the girl, stayed by her side, and then boarded the USS Vandegrift with the family three days later. Authorities decided to sink the Rebel Heart because it was taking on water.
Eric is a Coast Guard-licensed captain who introduced sailing to Charlotte during while they were dating. Charlotte blogged about their journey here, which is worth a read.
Related: Better, Not Bitter: My Dreams vs. My Kids’ Dreams
In this particular case, I have a strong opinion for myself. Never in this lifetime would I take my kids around the world on a boat. But then again, I don’t know anything about sailing. It would be irresponsible and stupid for me to attempt this sort of activity with my children.
My opinion is more fluid for other people. Just because sailing with kids isn’t a parenting choice I would make doesn’t mean it’s a bad parenting choice for others. The Kaufmans defended their decision in a statement issued from aboard the USS Vandegrift: “We understand there are those who question our decision to sail with our family, but please know that this is how our family has lived for seven years, and when we departed on this journey more than a year ago, we were then and remain today confident that we prepared as well as any sailing crew could.
“The ocean is one of the greatest forces of nature, and it always has the potential to overcome those who live on or near it. We are proud of our choices and our preparation.”
Here’s the thing about life: everything we do has its risks. Obviously, some things are higher risk than others, but none of us is guaranteed to be at the dinner table tonight. We’re not going to stop riding in vehicles even though we all know someone who has been hurt or killed in an accident–a statistically more likely disaster than perishing at sea. Perhaps you yourself have been in an accident. I’m going to bet that you still drive, or at least ride in cars.
If people enter into an activity and understand the risks and the rewards, if they have spent lots of time preparing and pondering, and if they have decided that their family would benefit from an adventure, then I’m all for them being brave enough to do it. After digging more into the story, it sounds like this is what the Kaufmans did.
Having said all that, I do wonder why this trip was so important right now with children so young. They’re not old enough to remember it and they’re certainly not old enough to decide if they even want to make such a trip. However, I’m sure the Kaufman’s had their reasons, which I don’t have to understand or agree with. I’m glad they are safe and I wish the family well going forward.
Related: Better, Not Bitter: Why Are We So Hard on Non-Custodial Moms?
What do you think about the Kaufmans’ decision? Do you think parents should put their high-risk dreams on hold? Take the poll and share your thoughts below.
[polldaddy poll=”7973280″]
