My Sister And I Are At Odds Over Her Abuser Boyfriend!
I have two daughters who are 6 and 8. They like to spend time at my sister’s house with their cousins who are around the same age. About a year ago, my sister’s boyfriend—who is also her kids’ father—beat her up pretty badly. I thought that was the end of the relationship, but they are back together. I don’t think my girls are in any sort of physical danger, but you never know. I put a stop to them going over to her house without me. Now my sister is mad at me. She says that her boyfriend would never hurt a child and that I’m overreacting. I’m not exactly confident about that and I don’t want my daughters to be a test case. Is there anything I can do to smooth things over?
Dear Feeling confused:
Believe it or not this question (or at least a variation of it) has come across the desk of Good Enough Mother before. In my mind, there are not a whole lot of shades of gray here; I am firmly in your corner. So here’s what I would do if I were you.
YOUR KIDS MAY SEE THINGS
And they are things they shouldn’t be exposed to. Your sister is, in my humble opinion, missing a very large part of the picture. Domestic violence is not about just the actual laying on of hands; many times there is a cycle of violence that leads up to, through and after the abuse. Do you want your girls to be around any of that? No. No you do not.