I’m a middle-aged white woman and I have close friends of several different races. One of my friends is an African-American woman who I’ll call Betty. I recently had a dinner at my apartment with some of my friends. Betty was present. At some point, she came into the kitchen. We chatted for a few moments and then I said something to the effect of, “Are you hungry? Would you like some chicken?” Betty got a look on her face, she said no, and walked away. Now she barely talks to me. When I told another friend what happened, he said that I was being racially insensitive when I asked Betty if she wanted chicken. I served chicken for dinner as well as other meats. Honestly, the chicken was the closest thing to my hand when I offered it. I’m confused, but more than that, I’m upset if I hurt my friend, but I’m not sure what I did wrong. Can you explain? Flummoxed in Fort Collins
Dear Flummoxed: You’re confused? So am I! And I’m an African American woman! First off, I don’t think you did anything wrong. You asked if I could explain.. I’ll try and then tell you what I would do if I were in your shoes.